Mahogany Misfit - Sunday, July 26, 2009 at 12:55AM - 10 said something... - filed under Male Oriented Bullshittery Email Article Oh BTW: That Wasn't His Baby At All
*Sigh*
Even when I take a self-imposed "hiatus" from men, I'M STILL DEALING WITH MEN.
Does anyone remember Terry?
Or better yet, does anyone remember how Terry "pocket dialed me" while in the company of a mysterious baby in the wee hours of the morning a few months ago?
Well, five months later, he wants me to know- THAT WASN'T HIS BABY!
Yeah.
I woke up this morning to a text message that stated "that baby wasn't mine you know".
Um what?
First of all, I deleted his contact info from my BlackBerry months ago, so I didn't even know who the hell the text was from.
I texted back "What? Who is this???"
Moments later the light bulb came on...678 area code...ugh this is Terry's dumb ass.
Who is he kidding?
I text him again "What the fuck ever Terry, you're a goddamn lie- DELETE MY NUMBER MF'ER!"
I do not have time to attend your assembly for the stupid, asshole.
According to my commenters on the "pocket dialing post", the baby in question sounded like a fucking newborn. He expects me to believe he was just palling around with a 4-day-old in the middle of the goddamn night?
For serious?
Arrrggghhh.
And why does he care what I think now? That happened in February! I haven't even seen him in ages.
What is wrong with this man?
The next text message states "Fuck this, that baby was my sister's. I don't have to lie!"
*Eyeroll*
Yes, you were driving around, consoling your sisters newly born infant in the middle of the night.
Uh-huh, right.
Men are such shitty liars.
My next text message- "Terry I don't believe your bullshit story and I don't know why you are ASSAULTING ME with your foolishness. Go die."
I'm partially annoyed with myself for not ignoring him but the bitchy side of me wanted him to know that I know, he's a lying assfuck.
A lying assfuck with a kid.
A kid he's denying!
Boo!
Well, that pissed him off and he answered back with "You know what, stop texting me."
Haaaaaahahahahaha.
What the what?
"Um take the dick out of your ass-I didn't START texting YOU in the first place. DELETE MY NUMBER!", I texted back.
I am mad I am even wasting keystrokes with this fuckwit!
I was just dumbfounded though. This guy is a total douchebag.
We met while volunteering for the Obama campaign. I thought he was bright, engaging, sexy, and a great conversationalist.
This is a 40-year-old man with two masters degrees, a wealth of book knowledge, is working toward a Ph.D (might already have that by now, I have no idea), is "intelligent", etc....and at the end of the day, he is dumb enough to think that I should believe his idiotic, far-fetched lies.
And gets MAD when I don't.
HA!
It's truly stunning.
So, for all the women out here who think that you only need to steer clear of "thugs", guess again!
Educated, articulate, professionally astute guys are capable of the same kinds of fucknuttery. Never lull yourself into believing that you are "choosing wisely".
You can only cross your fingers and hope.
If I've learned anything from my experiences, it's that deception and assclownery is not exclusive to any one demographic of men! And seemingly, if you're involved with someone, you're always vulnerable! Whether you're married, single, engaged, dating- it really doesn't matter.
This shit does not discriminate.
Depressing to acknowlegde...but such is life.
People suck.
Oh well, I probably still have Terry's address around here somewhere. Maybe I could send him and "not his baby" a nice greeting card?
Mahogany Misfit - Sunday, July 26, 2009 at 12:55AM - 10 said something... - filed under Male Oriented Bullshittery Email Article 
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Reader Comments (10)
Wow!!!!! I really want to know what even possessed him to text you so many months later. Like U said what a fucking douchbag. that was pure assclownery (love that word by the way) at its finest! And then he had the nerve to say stop texting him, wow again!
Thatgirl- I know girl!
I have a theory on what prompted him to contact me with this bullshit.
*** He's horny, possibly "missing me", and figured a quick denial would be a fast route back into my pants!!!
Cause every woman knows, men will say anything when they're horny. They will test the waters with the biggest lie ever known just to see if you'll fall for it.
And don't you love it when a lying man gets mad at YOU for not putting your trust in his LIES?
LOL!
"if you're involved with someone, you're always vulnerable! Whether you're married, single, engaged, dating- it really doesn't matter.
This shit does not discriminate."
SO true.
He's an idiot, thats really not worth your time or energy. He must have been bored or something. Why the hell does he think that you are even giving his ass a thought after all this time. smh
Not his baby????
You would think he'd want to combat your misconception 5 months ago if this was really the case.
Wow talk about NO CREDIBILITY. And then is beligerent when told you are not swallowing the BS he is trying to feed you.
Insanity.
Like I said in the pocket dialing post, I don't really think you can do much when a man is determined to lie and decieve and you are certainly correct when you say we are all vulnerable. I am just out of a relationship and I can confirm that the lies of men know no bounds.
Oh and LMAO @ "I do not have time to attend your assembly for the stupid, asshole." and how you told him to "GO DIE".
HA-HA!
If he remembered any thing about you, he should've have known he couldn't pull a fast one on you, but as you wrote, sounds he was looking for a quick fuck and hoping that his lie sounded plausible enough for him to ask you to stop by . And yeah, HE texted YOU first.
WHAT IS IT WITH EXES WHO CALL YOU WHEN THEY FIND OUT YOU ARE EITHER HOOKED UP WITH SOMEONE ELSE OR NOT INTERESTED IN THEM ANYMORE? They just can't handle it!
Terry's grade: L for LOSER. LOL
Da hell Terry?! You guessed right. He was horny. Men make me sick sometimes!
Damn, is Terry experiencing a dry spell? Poor idiot; he must have thought you were easy. Kudos to you for standing your ground! (But I have to admit, I giggled.)
I know teenagers with less life skills/knowlege that could have come up with a better story that the coonfuckery he came up with. Sheesh!
Lmao! Talk about a lost cause! Ole boy is not giving up without a fight!