Mahogany Misfit

As you all are aware, I am a passionate pro-choicer and recently decided to embark upon a volunteer-ship with Planned Parenthood.

Well after volunteering for a while, I thought I'd share some of my experiences here as this has been one of the most affirming, powerful things I have ever done.

Note: This will probably be a two-parter cause I have a lot to address.

While I can't share any patient stories because of confidentiality, I will tell you about the protest activity because I was INCREDIBLY ignorant about what goes on at PP and similar women's health clinics.

I had assumed that the protesters mostly walked around carrying signs in silence. At worst I thought the signs would be gruesome, photoshopped images of sleeping babies covered in ketchup or red dyed corn syrup (like in the movies).

Additionally, I expected maybe some chanting about abortion being "murder" and the like.

What I did not expect was to be called "a murderer who helps show babies to their deaths".

What I did not expect was to hear protesters loudly asserting that "Abortion causes breast cancer".

An outright motherfucking lie.

What I did not expect was to hear these people shouting with absolution that "75% of women regret aborting their babies!!!!"

Also not fucking true.

What I also did not expect to hear was white protesters telling my Black self and our Black patients that "PP loves to kill Black and Hispanic babies because the founder of PP, Mararet Sanger was a racist".

Yes, Sanger may have been a eugenics sympathizer and racially insensitive but in those times, it's hard to count many White people or organizations who weren't. The Democratic party has a particularly extensive prior history of profound racism. Yet that doesn't stop me, President Obama, or any other democratic minority from proudly claiming the "Democrat" label today.

The bottom line is, things CHANGE. Organizations change. Planned Parenthood has no vendetta against Black and Hispanic babies.

Ugh. I cannot tell you how stunned I was that these people were bringing up the racial politics of a woman who's been dead for over 40 years.

And it REALLY chaps my ass that these are White, conservative, privileged (from the looks of the cars they drive up in) women reciting this bullshit. Do you honestly think they give a good goddamn about Black and Hispanic women in any other capacity? In what ways do they reach out to assist these minority women on a daily basis?

I'm going to guess NONE other than shaming them for seeking access to reproductive health care.

I'd like to peek into their homes to see how many minority babies they've personally adopted. Or how many minority women they've been personally charitable or generous to.

According to the most recent census data, black women make up 12.3% of the female population in America. The Guttmacher Institute (AGI) puts the percentage of black abortions at 37% of the U.S. total. Similarly, AGI tells us that Hispanic women account for 22% of all U.S. abortions, though they make up 12.5% of the female population. Non-Hispanic, white women, who make up 62.6% of America's female population account for 34% of all U.S. abortions.

Do you know what I think of this data? We have a CULTURAL and SOCIO-ECONOMIC issue at hand. Not a Planned Parenthood induced issue. It's not exactly a secret that the median household income of Blacks and Hispanics is considerably less than Whites, that minorities are more likely to be un or under employed than Whites, that minorities are more likely to be uninsured and have less access to medical care than Whites, etc. etc..

If minority women had access to more resources and support PERIOD (and affordable contraception), perhaps they'd account for less abortions?

According to AGI:

"Beyond geographic and financial access, life events such as relationship changes, moving or personal crises can have a direct impact on (birth control) method continuation. Such events are more common for low-income and minority women than for others, and may contribute to unstable life situations where consistent use of contraceptives is lower priority than simply getting by. In addition, a woman's frustration with a birth control method can result in her skipping pills or not using condoms every time. Minority women, women who are poor and women with little education are more likely than women overall to report dissatisfaction with either their contraceptive method or provider. Cultural and linguistic barriers also can contribute to difficulties in method continuation."

So yeah, let's address the diverse variety of issues that plague minority women and then see how the abortion rate is reduced, mmkay? 

Until that happens, I don't wanna hear the fucking bullshit because I have absolutely no reason to believe they truly give a fuck about the collective plight of minorities.

Another thing I did not expect to hear was protesters telling our patients? "YOU COULD DIE IN THERE, THIS ISN'T SAFE!!!" and implying to them that abortion is some dangerously rogue, unsafe procedure.

Um, the truth is, pregnancy and childbirth are far more dangerous and deadly than abortion, which is one of the safest medical procedures available to women.

According to bioethicist and medical historian Jacob Appel, "abortion is convincingly far safer for maternal health than bringing a fetus to term."

He also went on to say:  

"According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the likelihood of an American woman dying in childbirth is approximately 1 in 7,500. In contrast, a 2004 study published in Obstetrics and Gynecology found the risk of dying during an abortion in the first eight weeks of pregnancy, when the majority of terminations take place, to be roughly 1 in 1,000,000. That's safer than a round-trip flight on a commercial aircraft. Even abortions performed at greater than 21 weeks (1.1% of all abortions) have a mortality of 1 in 11,000 -- far lower than live delivery. If one measures only immediate morbidity and mortality, there is no way to spin these numbers to suggest that abortion is less safe than giving birth."

Yet we don't see these protesting assbags outside of the maternity ward warning women about the danger they face when delivering their babies do we?

Nope, cause that's a MIRACLE!

In essence, these protesters want women to RISK THEIR LIVES giving birth to babies they do not want and or have decided they cannot take care of.

To be clear, I am not suggesting that pregnancy is OMG SO LIFE-THREATENING DON'T DO IT!, but I am saying the proof is in the pudding. Carrying a baby to term is much more life threatening for women than having an abortion and there are far more complications.

It has become painfully obvious to me that these protesters are actually protesting our patients as fervently as they protest our center. They are profoundly obtuse, woefully misinformed, and passionate about the shaming they do in front of our clinic every day.

Never mind the fact that only 3% of our services are abortion related. EVERY SINGE WOMAN entering the clinic is told: "YOU DON'T HAVE TO KILL YOUR BABY!!"

Um, not all of these women are there to abort, dickheads!

As I just stated, about 3% of the services provided by PP is abortion related.

The services breakdown is as follows:

Contraception- 38%
STD testing and treatment- 29%
Cancer screening and prevention- 19%
Other women's health services- 10%
Other services- 1%

Knowing this, it boggles the mind how belligerently assumptive these people are. They haven't a clue what ANY of these people are visiting the clinic for so they simply go with the logic that "well, it must be for an abortion, let me scream and shame everyone in exactly the same brutish, ignorant manner."

It's truly sickening.

Another thing I wasn't expecting to hear? About how "my own abortions are the reason I volunteer at PP." Apparently, "I console myself by watching other women go through this process."

Oh yes, one of our more vocal protesters screams this to me every time I work a shift.

Um, this might be good logic if only I'D EVER BEEN PREGNANT!

But...I've never been fucking pregnant.

I know this is likely inconceivable since I'm a Black woman who volunteers at a clinic that performs abortions (and shucks why else in this little old white lady's mind would I be there for pete's sakes!?!?!) and all, but yeah it's true.

THIS is what the fuck I'm talking about when I tell you how ASSUMPTIVE these motherfucking bastards are.

Yeah, I'm here to console myself over my multiple abortions. OMG LOL WTF!!111!

Sorry.

One of my counterparts (who has also never had an abortion but is also accused of having them by this shouty little asshole), makes it a point to correct this woman by telling her "I have never had an abortion".

You know what...I don't bother for two reasons:

The first reason I don't correct her is because if I did experience an unplanned pregnancy, I would have an abortion as soon as possible after finding out. Without shame or hesitation, I would abort. End of story.

So I don't feel compelled to correct her erroneous assumption because this isn't a procedure I personally wouldn't have or one I'd feel ashamed of.  I would have one if I needed to, so really, how does this make me any different from all of our patients, whom she gleefully vilifies and excoriates?

In my eyes, I'm no different than our many patients who are exercising their right to choice...the only thing that differs is our circumstances.

Secondly, my personal sexual and reproductive history is none of this itty bitty fucktard's business. I do not have to justify myself to her...not even to deny her false assumptions. If she wants to think I've had multiple abortions...let her. What the fuck do I care? I am not vulnerable. I'm there standing up for women who need support the face of these rabid sociopaths. I can take whatever abuse gets thrown at me. It's the women and girls who visit our clinic who sometimes cannot.

I don't even want to describe to you how women's faces fall when they step out of their cars and are  screamed at by strangers. Some in tears and keeping silent, some angry and finding the voice to scream back, but all of them disappointed and undoubtedly feeling the mountain of shame heaped upon them by these people.

As if their situation weren't difficult enough on it's own.

It makes me ill to think about it too much.

{sigh}

More to come in the next post...I have a lot to share and this is taxing to write about...