Mahogany Misfit

I have to rant today. This has been festering inside of me for months and I have to get it out!

My new department manager is the most putrid wench I have ever had the displeasure of working with.

First of all, our department was in desperate need of a new manager when she was promoted and what does this dickass do? Two months into the fucking job she gets knocked up with another crotch nugget.

Great career move, whore.

Anyway, our previous manager was so competent and amazing...I really miss her. Things ran so much more smoothly when she was in charge. It's a damn shame that this she-devil has taken over and single-handedly fucked up our entire department with her shitty judgment and crappy hiring decisions.

Firstly, we lose employees left and right. Our turnover rate is atrocious because this ignorant slut has the management skills of a kid in pre-k.

It's no coincidence that under her reign of terror I am now taking a cocktail of anti-depressants including Prozac, Lexapro, AND Wellbutrin. Before this bitch took over, I was fine with just the Prozac! Now I'm depressed and anxiety-ridden more than ever!

Goddamit!

I am so depressed, I can barely make it through the fucking day. This job breaks my spirit in ways I cannot even describe. I'm surrounded by imbeciles and this bitch is the biggest one of all.

Lemme tell you what went down yesterday...

First, a little background info...we (the management team) send our analysts work from a spreadsheet we receive via email at 2pm, 4pm, and 6pm daily. I am specifically in charge of dividing up the work in the 4pm spreadsheet and distributing it out to our analysts.

Now yesterday, my email was fucked the hell up. I couldn't access it and had to call in a ticket with the help desk. So, DUH...this means I was not able to access the spreadsheet or email any work to the analysts from the 4pm report.

I notified another member of our management team and he told me he would take care of it.

Well, apparently he didn't because this morning the bitch has the nerve to send me a curt email (and the vicious twat rag copied ALL of the other managers in the goddamn department on the email in a lame attempt to embarrass me) questioning why the work from the fucking spreadsheet wasn't sent to the analysts.

BEEYOTCH, I sit right outside your fucking office. You SAW with your own beady little eyes that the IT people were at my desk numerous times the previous day trying to fix my email.Your door was wide open and you heard me talking to them about it! You knew good and goddamn well that I could not access my mailbox.

So please tell me...how the fuck was I supposed to send the work out? TELEPATHICALLY?

Fucking cunt muffin.

What a slothful, rancid bitch she is.

Goddamn that sorry ho.

I hate her.

Oh did I mention that she's ugly and has bad teeth too? She is a walking eyesore.

First of all, the bitch NEVER wears clothes that fit. Her outfits are always too tight and ridiculously ill-fitting. My fucking eyes are assaulted by her wonky ass saddlebags, ever-present muffin top, and protruding love handles on a daily goddamn basis.

Has this twat never heard of Spanx? None of us have perfect bodies but CHRIST, dress to compliment your figure and look professional!

GAWD.

I don't even have further words to express my contempt for this wretched hag. Thank God I have the day off tomorrow.