Mahogany Misfit - Monday, February 11, 2008 at 12:24AM - 6 said something... - filed under 80's Flashbacks Email Article Were Your Barbies Tawdry, Cock-Sucking Whores Too?
I don't know about everyone else but when I was a kid, playing Barbies was NOT a pristine, innocent past time at my house.
Oh no.
From the age of 7 on, every Barbie doll I owned was a slutty ass nymph who fucked and sucked round the clock...in her Dream House, the backseat of her Red Ferrari, under the waterfall (AKA the kitchen faucet), her camping tent, and all over my swing set and sandbox in the back yard.
Nothing was hotter than dirty sandbox sex with Ken on a humid summer day.
It was my older cousin Damon who taught me how to make my Barbies engage in raunchy hot sex. He was an awesomely bad influence.
Before he corrupted me, Barbie was just a boring girl who liked to shop, change outfits 42 times a day, go swimming in the bathtub, and ride around the driveway in her hot pink corvette.
But after one play date with Damon back in second grade (I remember it like it was yesterday), Barbie was sucking dick, giving hand jobs, getting rammed doggy-style, and sitting on Ken's little plastic face.
And that was just the heterosexual shit...
Mahogany Misfit - Monday, February 11, 2008 at 12:24AM - 6 said something... - filed under 80's Flashbacks Email Article 
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Reader Comments (6)
All my Barbies ever did was have sex. That wasn't their purpose? :-)
Lol...I never had Barbies...but I did screw around with my Legos.
Are you still blogging?
LMFAO! My Barbies were boring. They basically had the life I have now. But at least they didn't get knocked up!
OMG! I thought I was the only one! I was an only child and played sex scenes with my barbies.
LMFAO! That's the most obscene thing I've heard done with a kids toy in a long time.
Love!