Mahogany Misfit - Tuesday, December 16, 2008 at 06:32PM - 10 said something... - filed under Male Oriented Bullshittery Email Article Why Do My Bootycalls Always Go Rogue?
That's it. I am officially done with men.
I mean it.
Recently, I posted about the older man I became involved with at the end of October...
Well I'm dumping him.
He is SUFFOCATING THE LIFE OUT OF ME!
Gawd!!!!
He wants to see me and be with me ALL THE TIME and I hate it.
I have issues with this sort of thing.
You see, back when I was seeing a shrink, together we discovered that I am very, very sensitive to feeling smothered and have horribly adverse reactions to people I deem "clingy". I have a really hard time with this issue which is why I think I'll probably never marry.
It's also a major factor in my not wanting children. Think about it. They are ALWAYS around. They need you constantly. They either talk or cry nonstop! You have no space or privacy! You lose your freedom! It is the quintessential "smothering" type of relationship.
I CANNOT HANDLE IT.
Same with having a husband pretty much. There's always someone to come home to...he's almost always around and talking in your fucking ear all the time, wanting stuff from you...IT'S LIKE A HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE!
Seriously, it scares me to death and I'm sure I'd hate every minute of it. I am a very solitary person. Almost overly so. I like being left the hell alone most of the time.
Well, Mr. Bootycall doesn't seem to understand that I don't want to see his face every fucking night.
It's not personal either. It's me needing to be left alone. I like space...LOTS OF SPACE...and privacy! I'm introverted. I enjoy my own company. I don't want people around me all the time.
I like him and we have great sex but I don't want him or any other guy here excessively. We can hook up on the weekends and THAT IS ENOUGH.
Jeeeeeeez!
So here's the story. I decided to take a week off before starting my new job and during that week, I hurt myself really bad at the gym and could barely bend the fuck over for 4 fucking days.
My shit was jacked!
Anyway, he sent me an email that Tuesday to see if I wanted to hook up and I explained to him that I was really hurt from working out and declined.
Two days later, on Thursday, he sends me another email asking to hook up. Again I told him no, I AM STILL HURT!
Friday afternoon...ANOTHER EMAIL. This time asking if he could come over on his lunch break (his job is 2 minutes away from my place) AND THEN AGAIN AFTER WORK!
Goddamn it.
I didn't even fucking respond to it. I was incensed! From the confines of my bed, I screamed and hurled my BlackBerry at the wall, Naomi Campbell style.
A few hours later, he sends me this:
"Would you like a back massage to help with your back pains? I can bring some ointment. just let me know. I know we have this sex thing going, but I consider you a friend and I care about my friends."
OMFG.
I know some of you may read that and think it's "sweet" but it really pissed me off. This is STIFLING!
Take a goddamn hint, I am injured, I don't want to be bothered...AT ALL!
Oh and I am not his "friend". I don't fuck my friends, I only fuck non-friends now thankyouverymuch.
So...I ignored that email as well.
But two hours later...there was a knock on my fucking door.
What.The.Hell.
And everyone who knows me, knows GOOD AND GODDAMN WELL to at least give me a courtesy call before you come popping over. I don't play that unannounced visit bullshit. That shit is rude and a sign of bad manners!
I know it was him but sadly I didn't answer....I now regret not answering it actually because a few hours later I sent him a text asking if he has just come to my house without calling and he simply answered back "No."
Mmm hmmm. Riiiiight.
I shoulda looked out the goddamn peephole!
Seriously though, the only other person who will occasionally stop by impromptu, is my upstairs neighbor since she and I share "custody" (the petting and feeding) of a stray cat in our complex.
I called her after texting him and she said it wasn't her.
You know what that means...
IT WAS TOTALLY HIM!
ARRRRGGGGHHHH!
Pissed me the fuck off.
Don't make a bitch get a surveillance camera to monitor the premises!
Seriously, there is NO ONE ELSE it could have been. It was him. Case closed.
I talked this situation over with my male BFF and he wholeheartedly believes that it was him and he thinks that Mr. Bootycall could have been suspicious that I was blowing him off and lying about being hurt because I'm fucking someone else. He thinks he came by to "catch me in the act" or to see if I would answer since that would mean that I was alone.
Makes sense coming from a man's brain doesn't it!?!?!
I am livid.
Unsurprisingly, he emailed me again this week to hook up. I told him no and gave no further explanation but I am getting ready to break this off right now. Like, RIGHT NOW! I am going to email him and tell him I am cancelling the bootycall agreement and it is NULL AND VOID from this day forward.
And you know what...my immediate future holds NO MEN. I need a goddamn break already. A serious hiatus from all men, dating, bootycalls...all that shit. I'm over it. Clearly I am bad at picking men. Either that or all men just suck horribly and want to control and/or suffocate me and none of them can get it fucking right. It's gotta be one of those two right? I mean, I ask for a simple bootycall arrangement and it NEVER works. One guy wants me to go to California with him, the next guy wants me to pay more attention to him and actually "give a shit" because his ego is bruised that I'm not falling all over myself over his dumb ass, and now this clown wants to be in my home every day like he's my husband or something! What is wrong with this picture? Is it me and I just don't realize it? And how can it be me when I clearly state what I want and none of these assholes can follow directions?
So many questions.
All I know is, after one boyfriend and three bootycalls this year alone, I'm finished. Finito!
I need to concentrate on my new job, I am moving to North Scottsdale in two months, I'm working on my fitness hardcore....I need to find a new shrink in my new neighborhood to start seeing after work...I don't have the capacity to deal with any more men and their unreasonable demands of me. Demands that I cannot and will not meet.
Fuck all that.
Admire me from a distance boys, I am done with every single one of your simple asses.
Mahogany Misfit - Tuesday, December 16, 2008 at 06:32PM - 10 said something... - filed under Male Oriented Bullshittery Email Article 
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Reader Comments (10)
I think you are throwing these guys for a loop-they are used to needy, subserviant woman who WANT all of their time. You come in and blow the lid off everything they are used to. THEY turn into the needy ones--you are just fucking these boys up girl. Take a break, buy a wand, and do you girl. Love you! =)
A lot of men, I dare not think all, but alot of them only do the opposite to what you want. You shower them with too much attention they run from you, you can't be bothered and they can't live without you.
You're on the right track, take a break and do you.
Yeah, sounds like it's time for a break!
What the hell is up with his LYING about stopping over there? UGH~ just UGH~
WOWWWWWW, SIS!! THAT'S SOME BULL!!
What part of BOOTY CALL didn't those guys get? BOOTY CALL means NO STRINGS ATTACHED/NO RELATIONSHIP/NO FRIENDSHIP/NO "BEST FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS." Either I call or him or he calls me, we hook up and leave each other the hell alone until the next fuck.
Now, you know, if it were you who were engaging in the above-described behaviors, you'd get called everything from crazy, needy and stalkerish, and they'd cut you off, but when GUYS do it, we're supposed to swoon and be all over that. YEAH, RIGHT.
Girl, go ahead and DO YOU! :)
This made me spit out my soda-
"From the confines of my bed, I screamed and hurled my BlackBerry at the wall, Naomi Campbell style."
LOLOL!
I agree with Tessa's comment. These men are just ridiculous honey. Always wanting what you don't want and never being aware of the signals you are sending them. Fucking crazy. Take your sabbatical girl, as long as you need.
I am on a dating sabbatical myself.
It is so liberating! The last three guys who have been chasing my tail, have gotten nowhere with me. I just can't emotionally cope with them or their shit or even the idea of having to. And the thing is...I am totally up front about not wanting a relationship or even to really date anyone, ESPECIALLY a man with kids, and they don't hear a word I say and keep chasing anyway.
Any man who can't fucking listen is immediately dismissed.
You go girl.
In defense of my fellow brothers.....................uh...............I gots nothin......
Nonetheless hope you had a wonderful Christmas and hope your New Year's is fantastic.
I made to your blog by chance and I must say that this entry sounds alot like me months ago. I no longer date because men believe that women are not capable of having sex without getting attached. I have tried the bootycall thing many times and I find if I sleep with a man more than once then he will eventually turn in to a bugger.
I do not answer my phone unless I feel like it, all bootycalls are done on my time (I will make an exception if you have been very good to me). However, unless you are willing to stop dating forever this is going to be a problem, because men tend to pursue women they deem a challenge.
Oh Carla, you MUST have been crawling around inside my mind because I have been thinking the SAME damn thing for the last few weeks! This is going to be a running theme in my life as long as I fucking live. If I want sex, this is what I'll be enduring. Ugh I can't even stand the thought.
Like you, I want ALL bootycalls to be on MY time period. I don't give a shit how selfish it sounds, that's how I am with guys..."Get here when I want you and then get the fuck out until I call you again for another dick delivery. DON'T CALL ME, I'LL CALL YOU!"
Fucking men can't cooperate with shit.
DAYUM! That's some real live bullshit and craziness right there. I feel you girl. You gotta stand your ground. You've done what so many women haven't and that's know who the hell you are and I've always admired that about you.
I'm once again starting to wonder about my returning from being single and celibate to currently dating. First there was T who's a great guy and I could actually see myself with him, but he lives in Jamaica and I can't exactly fly down all the time and I'm not going to sit around pining over him. He went psycho on me when I told him I'd started seeing someone else and had slept with him. After a huge fight, we mended fences and are still friends, but he still thinks that I should be sitting around in wait mode. That leads me to who I'll call the Toolbelt who initially was a cool guy until his baby mama drama got the best of him and he took it out on me and I went the fugg off and pretty much ended it shortly thereafter. Then came P and he's a great guy, but we have conflicting sex drives and I'm not sure I want to settle for less when I want more. So, far he's still in the picture and I want him around and because he lives in NY, that makes our not seeing each other almost daily (which I love) a good thing. I'm trying to stay positive, but I still can't completely shake the feeling that relationships and me aren't good matches. *sigh*
I haven't gotten into the bootcall business yet and if this is any indication of how it could go, I think I should pass.
Love!